A call for common sense

Editor,

It is indeed tragic, tragedy of the first degree, when a child dies. Parents are left bereft and in anguish, regardless of circumstances. We, individually and collectively, respond to such a loss in many and various ways. Perhaps we have opportunity to touch the lives of those who mourn. Most often we do not. In the aftermath there must be a plea for common sense.

There has been tragedy of unthinkable proportion in our community over the past year. One family in particular has suffered the loss two sons. Our hearts certainly ache and grieve with those who have suffered so grievously.

On the other hand, common sense begs for a different outcome than what we currently observe. One might well understand if a mother were to throw herself passionately into an anti-alcohol abuse program/drive here on the reservation. That kind of passion in the past was the seed of what became, and to what so many owe so much to the Mothers Against Drunk Driving campaign. One might well understand were a mother to shrink into grief and depression. One might understand anger and outrage, but one is mystified at the direction that anger and outrage has taken.

A lawsuit? Against the school? A school that is trying, under new leadership is trying valiantly to help the youth of our community turn the attitudinal and behavioral corner. A lawsuit?

The very bringing of such a law suit begs the question that somewhere, somehow, somebody is responsible, and the lawsuit points the finger at the school, it's administration and teachers. Did school officials set the role model example that is leading the youth of this community into dependence on drugs and alcohol? Did the school provide the means by which the youth in question used to extinguish their lives? Was the school in any way capable of moderating the behavior of these children after they (against the written rules) left campus? Is there a truant officer, and how is he/she empowered by the community?

As a psychologist I've read enough research to know parents are always the primary role models, not the school, administrators or teachers. As a pastor, I know that parents are given the primary responsibility of raising, forming, and teaching children in terms of life values morals, and behaviors. We cannot push that responsibility off onto the school, social services, the Boys and Girls Club, or any other social agency. We are responsible.

I have addressed the school board about their responsibility to supervise our children form the time they get on the bus until the time they are dropped off at our door. I have requested that they close the campus entirely, and they will have to deal with that. But the case in question involves children in the Junior High, which has in writing a closed campus, rules, shall we say, that require students to stay at school during the school day.

Did the parents involved instruct and encourage their sons to obey those rules, and make it clear, as my parents did, that there would be a reckoning at home if the rules are broken?

Will the judge to whom this case has been assigned have the moral fiber, courage, sense of justice, and concern for the community and its future, to firstly, find the parents in contempt for bringing a frivolous lawsuit, and fine them accordingly? Will she then find their lawyers also to be in contempt for bringing such a lawsuit, and fine them heavily for doing so?

And what of tribal leaders? They have the status, power, to change things. Will they rally tribal membership to become programmatic role models and teachers to encourage and even insist that tribal members improve the lives of their families, especially their children?

Where is the community outrage, the community action, the community coalition, and the community pressure? Where is the proactive newspaper campaign? Where are the editorials?

It takes a community wide effort to change attitudes. We are all responsible.

I'm going to be told, as I have been told before, that I'm an outsider. I only hope that at least my observations will be listened to and given some thought.

In a community where each of us accepts our own responsibility, and all of us work hard to fulfill it, we and our children will grow and prosper together with our neighbors. It's a matter of common sense.

The Reverend Dr. M.J. Nicolaus

Ronan