A home for the holidays - Charlo couple opens up home for fifth adopted child in time for Thanksgiving

Abandoned children, children born with fetal alcohol syndrome, children violently battered by parents hooked on crack or meth - these are the adopted members of the Wienke family of Charlo.

Wanda and her husband Wayne always wanted a large family. They were blessed with the birth of their son 23 years ago. Two subsequent pregnancies ended in miscarriages. Consequently, when the Wienkes were approached by a social worker to begin doing emergency foster care at their day care center in Wyoming, they readily agreed.

That was 11 years ago. In that time Wanda and Wayne moved to Lake County and have provided stability, love and care for 29 foster children.

"A lot of people say 'I can't do it because the court will come and remove the child.' People don't want to get attached. But these children need attachment. When you see a child who's never been loved or held, they get you in the gut."

Fostering children led to adoption when a member of the Wienke's own family got into trouble. In this case it was Wanda's niece, whom Wanda describes as a methamphetamine addict and burglar. She gave birth to a baby boy named Journey and a baby girl named Shadey, born just one year apart. While the niece was looking for her next fix, the infants were left to fend for themselves. As soon as they were able, the Wienke's stepped in and adopted both.

"It was about 1997 when we got the children. Journey is now nine, and Shadey is eight."

One would expect this would be enough family for any couple, but not Wanda and Wayne. When the call came from Thompson Falls that two developmentally disabled children needed a home, the 52-year-old Wayne and 47-year-old Wanda stepped up again.

The Thompson Falls children, Richard and Tiny, are siblings. Their stepmother beat them so mercilessly they almost died. As a result, Tiny who is chronologically 11 years old, has the I.Q. of a five or six year old. Richard is similarly impaired.

The needs of these children, says Wanda, are profound. "They were six and seven when we got them, and there were times I thought they needed to go back to the state, but you look at them and think, 'I've gone this far and we love them dearly' I can't see us not keeping them."

For Judy Bystrom, a veteran Family Resource Specialist with the Dept. of Public Health and Human Services, there will never be enough people like the Wienkes.

Bystrom remembers a time when adoption in Lake County was so difficult her agency would only average one placement a year.

"Babies could come into the foster care system and stay in it for the next 18 years," remembers Bystrom.

Fortunately during the Clinton administration the tables turned in favor of neglected children. With the passage of the Adoption and Safe Families Act of 1997, it is now against the law for children to languish in the foster care system. If a child has been in foster care for 15 out of the most recent 18 months a family resource specialist, like Bystrom, will file a petition. That's a first step in terminating parental rights so the child can be adopted.

"This act made our job easier in terms of placing children adoptively," explained Bystrom. "It used to be harder to terminate parental rights." Parents who lose their rights are not model citizens. Language in the Act regarding specific grounds for termination of parental rights is horrifying in that it hints at the environment some children have had to grow up in. Grounds for termination include, "Subjected a child to aggravated circumstances, including but not limited to abandonment, torture, chronic abuse or sexual abuse…deliberate homicide of a child…assault against a child…. neglect that resulted in serious bodily injury or death."

Years of physical and mental abuse at the hands of a violent parent does damage that oftentimes can't be undone. "Currently we have 12 children who don't have adoptive homes. They are in limbo. Most are teens. They live in foster homes. Some are developmentally disabled. Most of the children are seriously and emotionally disturbed and some are in residential care. This is the result of abuse and neglect. They are very broken children," Bystrom said.

She notes that during the last year she could think of four children who've been adopted and another nine who are in families who are going to adopt them.

On Nov. 3, 2004, with Judge C.B. McNeil presiding, Wayne and Wanda adopted their fifth child, a baby boy named Sage. Two weeks before Sage's birth, his mother ingested Meth. Knowing that there are many, many difficult days for the Weinkes, we asked what a good day was like. Wanda replied, "On the good days, it's just one big happy, happy family."

If you are 18 years of age or older, are financially able to care for a child, can provide a safe, healthy and nurturing environment, Judy Bystrom wants to hear from you. For further information on adoption call her at 406-883-3828.

and Safe Families Act of 1997, it is now against the law for children to languish in the foster care system. If a child has been in foster care for 15 out of the most recent 18 months a family resource specialist, like Bystrom, will file a petition. That's a first step in terminating parental rights so the child can be adopted.

"This act made our job easier in terms of placing children adoptively," explained Bystrom. "It used to be harder to terminate parental rights." Parents who lose their rights are not model citizens. Language in the Act regarding specific grounds for termination of parental rights is horrifying in that it hints at the environment some children have had to grow up in. Grounds for termination include, "Subjected a child to aggravated circumstances, including but not limited to abandonment, torture, chronic abuse or sexual abuse … deliberate homicide of a child … assault against a child … neglect that resulted in serious bodily injury or death."

Years of physical and mental abuse at the hands of a violent parent does damage that oftentimes can't be undone. "Currently we have 12 children who don't have adoptive homes. They are in limbo. Most are teens. They live in foster homes. Some are developmentally disabled. Most of the children are seriously and emotionally disturbed and some are in residential care. This is the result of abuse and neglect. They are very broken children," Bystrom said.

She notes that during the last year she could think of four children who've been adopted and another nine who are in families who are going to adopt them.

On Nov. 3, 2004, with Judge C.B. McNeil presiding, Wayne and Wanda adopted their fifth child, a baby boy named Sage. Two weeks before Sage's birth, his mother ingested meth. Knowing that there are many, many difficult days for the Weinkes, we asked what a good day was like. Wanda replied, "On the good days, it's just one big happy, happy family."

If you are 18 years of age or older, are financially able to care for a child, can provide a safe, healthy and nurturing environment, Judy Bystrom wants to hear from you. For further information on adoption call her at 406-883-3828.