Are you a geezer? This test will tell
This history (of sorts) test was passed on to us recently to see whether or not I was considered a "geezer." Yup, I am. How many other geezers are out there? See how you do on this multiple choice exam:
1. In the 1940s where were automobile headlight dimmer switches located?
a. On the floor shift knob
b. On the floor board, to the left of the clutch
c. Next to the horn
2. The bottle top of a Royal Crown Cola bottle had holes in it. For what was it used?
a. To capture lightning bugs
b. To sprinkle clothes before ironing
c. As a large salt shaker
3. Why was having milk delivered a problem in northern winters?
a. Cows got cold and wouldn't produce milk
b. Ice on highways forced delivery by dog sled
c. Milkmen left deliveries outside of front doors, milk would freeze, expand and push up the cardboard bottle cap
4. What popular chewing gum was named for a game of chance?
a. Blackjack
b. Gin
c. Craps
5. What method did women use to look as if they were wearing stockings when none were available due to rationing during WWII?
a. Suntan
b. Leg painting
c. Wearing slacks
6. What postwar car turned automotive design on its ear when you couldn't tell if it was coming or going?
a. Studebaker
b. Nash Metro
c. Tucker
7. Which of these was a popular candy when you were a kid?
a. Strips of dried peanut butter
b. Chocolate licorice bars
c. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside
8. How was Butch wax used?
a. To stiffen a flat-top haircut so it stood up
b. To make floors shiny and prevent scuffing
c. On the wheels of roller skates to prevent rust
9. Before inline skates, how did you keep your roller skates attached to your shoes?
a. With clamps, tightened by a skate key
b. Woven straps that crossed the foot
c. Long pieces of twine
10. As a kid, what was considered the best way to reach a decision?
a. Consider all the facts
b. Ask Mom
c. Eeny-meeny-miney-mo
11. What was the most dreaded disease in the 1040s?
a. Smallpox
b. AIDS
c. Polio
12. "I'll be down to get you in a ______, Honey"
a. SUV
b. Taxi
c. Streetcar
13. What was Caroline Kennedy's pet pony's name?
a. Old Blue
b. Paint
c. Macaroni
14. What was a Duck and Cover drill?
a. Part of the game of hide and seek
b. What you did when Mom called you to do chores
c. Hiding under your desk and covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill
15. What was the name of the Indian Princess on the Howdy Doody show?
a. Princess Summerfallwinterspring
b. Princess Sacajewea
c. Princess Moonshadow
16. What did some savvy students do when duplicator tests were handed out in school?
a. Immediately sniff the purple ink, as they believed it would get them high
b. Made paper airplanes to see who could sail theirs out the window
c. Wrote another pupil's name on the top to avoid their own failure
17. Why did your Mom shop in stores that gave Green Stamps with purchases?
a. To keep you out of mischief by licking the backs, which tasted like bubble gum
b. They could be put in special books and redeemed for various household items
c. They were given to the kids to be used as stick-on tattoos.
18. "Praise the Lord, and pass the ______________"?
a. Meatballs
b. Dames
c. Ammunition
19. What was the name of the singing group that made the song "Cabdriver" a hit?
a. The Ink Spots
b. The Supremes
c. The Esquires
20. Who left his heart in San Francisco?
a. Tony Bennett
b. Xavier Cugat
c. George Gershwin
Answers: 1. b; 2. b; 3. c; 4. a; 5. b; 6. a; 7. c; 8. a; 9. a; 10, c; 11. c; 12. b; 13. c; 14. c; 15. a; 16. a; 17 b; 18. c; 19. a; 20. a
Scoring: 17-20 correct: You're not only older than dirt, but gifted with mind bloat. Now if you could only find your glasses. You're definitely a geezer.
12-16 correct: Not quite older than dirt yet, but your mind is pretty muddy.
0-11 correct: Either you're a sad excuse for a geezer, or you're younger than springtime — which isn't all that bad, you know!