Beware the 'Uff Da' bug

Uff Da. That's the closest description I can give to explain the impact of the latest viral onslaught that has been attacking so many local residents the past couple weeks.

Like the persistent California rainstorms of this winter, this Uff Da bug is relentless and unyielding as it marches inexorably through he various anatomical passages of the human frame — from an aching head to running noses, then stuffed up nasal passages, down a throat so sore that swallowing is an ordeal, into the chest cavities where congestion produces wheezing, shortness of breath, rib-aching coughing jags, resulting in overall tiredness and lethargy.

Did I leave out anything? Possibly the compound astigmatism of the ear drums!

You could count on your two hands the times over a 50-year period that I've missed work for reasons other than emergencies or surgery.

But the Uff Da bug laid me low from Saturday through Wednesday. There is a bright side to the situation, though, I've lost 10 pounds. But there are easier ways to lose weight and I can be naturally lazy without all the side effects.

So what's with Uff Da? It's an expression inherited from my Norwegian grandmother who would Uff Da her way through the various vicissitudes of everyday life.

Two incidents come to mind nearly 70 years later:

"Uff da — the price of mutton is only 5 cents a pound at the Grand Central Market." And Grandma would take me in tow and we'd ride the streetcar all the way from the San Fernando Valley to downtown Los Angeles. The streetcar ride was much more enjoyable than eating that nickel-a-pound mutton.

Grandma's frugality was unlimited. One day while visiting her home, I made a brief pit stop and flushed the toilet. As I came out of the bathroom, Grandma met me at the door waving her finger, "Uff Da, Paul, you only need to flush after you've done a big yob."

I checked the 10-inch thick dictionary in the Leader office to see if Uff Da was defined by the lexicographers. It wasn't. But on the fridge at home is a magnetic sign that gives some definitions of the popular Scandahoovian expression. Among them are:

"Uff Da is looking in the mirror and discovering you're not getting better, you're just getting older."

"Uff Da is trying to dance the polka to rock and roll music."

"Uff Da is arriving late at a lutefisk supper and getting served minced ham instead."

"Uff Da is looking in the rear view mirror and seeing flashing red lights."

"Uff Da is noticing non-Norwegians at a church dinner using lefse as a napkin."

Well, those are some examples of the universality of Uff Da. Yah, sure, you betcha!