Whatever happened to modesty?

Rev. M.J. Nicolaus, Ph.D

Without going all the way back to Genesis, let's review a bit of "recent" past history. Hard upon the heels of the Protestant Reformation (1517) there followed a movement called "Pietism." In the religious realm, pietism was a way of life in which the participant tried to lead a completely godly life and be worthy of heaven.

In the secular realm, pietism was a way of life in which the participant tried to lead a completely good life and be worthy of the admiration and respect of one's community, with no grounds for criticism.

As is normal, there was a "movement," though not organized, which ran contrary to the above. In the course of time it came to be known as "secular humanism." Secular humanism is a later day manifestation of Epicureanism (eat, drink, and be merry, tomorrow you die …), and its outward manifestation in society today is called hedonism.

Pietism and hedonism are diametrically opposed to each other.

Where pietism was championed by Queens Victoria (Victorianism) and Elizabeth, secular humanism in the form of hedonism is championed by Hugh Heffner (openly and proudly so), those who followed in his footprints, and "the Hollywood crowd."

Where pietism was codified by the Wesley brothers in "The Method," hedonism was spelled out in skin magazines and raunchy movies for public consumption.

Pietism taught that sexuality should be a private matter. Hedonism taught that it should be open and public.

Pietism offers that personal consumption, especially of intoxicants, was bad. Hedonism taught that it was good.

Hedonism offers that the same should be a matter of public display.

The two are diametrically opposed.

In the midst of all this, as the 21st Century begins to unfold, are parents. Parenting has never been and will never be easy. Parents "want the best" for their children and are subject to a multitude of temptations to understand what that means and how to achieve it.

In the middle of the last century young people didn't date until the mid-teens. Girls didn't wear makeup until about the same time. Boys were involved in sports, hunting and fishing. Then came the dawning of "dance clubs" for middle schoolers, and parents who encouraged boys to have girlfriends and girls to have boyfriends by sixth grade.

The slippery effect took over. By the time my daughters and son were in middle school, they were considered odd because they weren't going steady, necking and petting. Today middle and grade school children have learned and are involved in outright perverse acts of sexuality due to the influence of the silver screen, television, a certain recent president, and parents who do not have the spine to say no!

You can observe without being a private detective. Sit at the mall and watch. Go to a game at our event center and watch. Is there any modesty in the way our girls dress? Is there anything left to the imagination where their bodies are concerned? Are our parents so poor that they can't afford to provide a belt to hold their pants up? You may well observe outright groping of the girls in the stands, sexual massaging, his hands in her pockets and her hands in his pockets, and where are the parents?

Stand in the hallway of one of our middle schools or high school. Listen to the language. I used to work on highway road construction, and some of the vile things I heard there I am hearing in the halls of our school — coming out of the mouths of our girls!

Listen to a scanner or read the legal log in the newspaper. Our sons and daughters, boys and girls, are using drugs and alcohol on a regular, proud, bold basis, and sometimes, it seems, with the approval of their parents.

Just how and why was Natalee Holloway in Aruba? Doing what? At what time in the morning? Her parents just couldn't say no, and now they look desperately for somebody, anybody else, to blame.

Sociological and psychological research and commentators offer some ideas. Parents are afraid to say anything to their children. Afraid? Yes. Afraid that if they say anything they may lose the affection of their child. Afraid that if they say anything their child may not be popular or happy. So they bite their lip and say nothing.

Then an Aruba happens, or your daughter is pregnant at 15, or your son dies in an alcohol-related car accident, and you look for someone to blame. Why didn't the school do something? (Because you refused to let the school board establish dress codes, discipline guidelines, or enforce them? Because you handcuffed the teachers in terms of discipline and accountability?) Why didn't the church do something? (Because you didn't take them to church and Sunday school?)

God gave us the gift of these precious young lives, and along with the gift He gave us the responsibility to raise them. For Christian parents, that means raising them in the admonition of the Lord. That doesn't mean pietism. It means learning to accept personal responsibility to live a decent life before God and man. For non-Christian parents, it means teaching them to accept personal responsibility to live a decent life before men.

Together we can turn this sad display of social mores around. Christian and non-Christian parents alike and together can teach a sense of modesty in appearance, behavior, consumption, and an attitude of personal responsibility. And we can teach an understanding of respect for teachers, preachers, and all others in authority, etc. Shall we try?