Gossip can be terribly destructive
Editor,
Gossip. Everybody loves to gossip. I have been guilty of it myself. It's a sad thing when gossip can get so bad that someone takes it to heart and believes what is being said about them. Less than a year ago I tried to commit suicide partly because of the way I was conducting my life and the gossip that I was hearing about myself.
If you didn't know my reasons and was thinking it was something else, that goes to show that gossip is a hurtful and misleading thing.
The incident changed me as a person and who I am today. Since then, I have found that life is worth living and that my children are an important part of my life and I wouldn't give them up for nothing.
What people say or have said about me in the past does not hurt as much because I know who I am and I like myself.
Suicide is a selfish act and I was very selfish back then. I talked about people. I acted like I was invincible and I drank a lot and did some things I was ashamed of. But since my suicide attempt, I have changed for the better — maybe not in everyone else's standards, but I only have to live with mine and I like my standards and I work everyday to improve on them.
I have been attending counseling, slowed way down on my drinking and spend a lot more time with my children. I try to keep to myself and don't interfere when I am not wanted.
If I have offended anyone in the past or caused grief in your life either by my actions or my gossip, I apologize for that. The reason for this is because of what I have learned by my own actions. Who are we to judge others for their actions? Who do we think we are? God? I think not. He is the only one who can judge others for their actions. What makes us so perfect and not prone to human error or judgment?
Suicide is a serious action and I almost succeeded. What would you be saying today if I had succeeded? You most likely would have nothing to say because you all would have forgotten about me. To those of you out there who still like to talk about my actions and me, what business is it of yours? Were you there when I was feeling so low that life held no meaning to me? Were you concerned enough to look beneath the facade I projected to help me? Do you have something to benefit from my life? Is my life that much more exciting than yours that you have nothing better to do than talk about me or make up things to try and hurt me? Do your own actions make you any better? If my life was so exciting, as I am told it is, then I would like to know where I find the time and energy to do all the things I am supposedly doing. If you need excitement in your life, then live your life to the fullest, not mine through me.
Remember one thing, and this is what keeps me going on some days when I hear something about myself that isn't true: You don't pay my bills; you don't sleep in my bed or take care of my children. You don't walk in my shoes; you don't know what goes on in my life. Who cares what you have to say?
So, until you do walk in my shoes or live my life, I would appreciate it if you would forget that I even exist. Quit talking about me like you know what is actually going on in my life and who I am because nine times out of 10 you will probably be wrong. Please leave my name out of your conversations unless I am there with you.
There is a saying: "Do unto others as you would like others to do unto you." I have learned this lesson and I hope you will, too. Please, if everyone would just stop before speaking out about another person, life would be so much easier to live. It also might save a life. I know. I almost lost mine because of it.
Deana M. Streets
Pablo