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Fighting alcoholishm isn't easy as pie, but pies sure help

by Jennifer McBride < br > Leader Staff
| December 27, 2007 12:00 AM

Roger Bordeaux is a recovering alcoholic. He started drinking at age 15. Forty years later, Bordeuax still struggles. The once-homeless man has been cited on at least four occasions for driving under the influence and said he's been in and out of treatment at least 24 times.

"I don't know where to start," Bordeaux said. "I could write a book. I was a heavy weekend drinker at 18. Then I went on my first bender when I was 20. I started riding the rails at 24."

Now, he's struggling to stay clean through another holiday season — always a difficult time for alcoholics.

Bordeaux attends classes at the Salish Kootenai College in "computering" and has a Pell Grant from the government. It's a big step up from sleeping under cold bridges and on cold streets in almost every city in the Pacific Northwest, selling plasma for wine money.

Shame and guilt kept him drinking.

"I had to drink to survive," Bordeaux said.

Bordeaux said he also tried drugs during his wilder years. While living on the street, he smoked crack and marijuana.

"But it never was my high," he said. "Never could afford it either."

Despite the temptations that come from the Christmas season, it was a Christmas that brought him out of his stupor. In 1986, Bordeaux was living in Tacoma, in and out of halfway houses, getting drunk on his way home from detox. He isn't sure what triggered his decision to try to change his life, but on a cold, December evening, Bordeaux found himself inside a church.

"One day I just had it," Bordeaux said. "I went into a church, knelt at the alter and started praying. I can't explain why. I think I hit my bottom."

Bordeaux called a relative, who arranged for a hotel room and transported him back to Montana, to spend the holiday season with his family for the first time in years.

Though Bordeaux has stayed close to home since that fateful night 21 years ago, he still struggles with addiction. Since his last six-month treatment, Bordeaux said he's slipped twice. His license is suspended for driving while intoxicated, forcing him to catch rides to the dentist or SKC. Bordeaux also suffers from diabetes and reoccuring bronchitis. But he's taking medication, which he said takes away a lot of his cravings to drink.

"I haven't had any craving whatsoever, not for the last two months," he said.

Bordeaux also is trying to start a group for recovering alcoholics. He hopes to not only create a support structure for himself, but also to pass on his knowledge to other people.

"I know what it's like to relapse," he said.

Two things, Bordeaux said, help him stay sober, beyond the fear of going back to alcohol treatment for nine months if he slips and falls again. The first reason is his mother. Bordeaux lives with her in Polson. She needs thrice weekly dialysis treatments in Missoula, and Bordeaux cooks and cleans for her.

The second barrier to his relapse, Bordeaux said, is pie.

Bordeaux went to cooking school in Great Falls in 1974. In fifteen weeks, he said, "I learned all the fundamentals of cooking and baking. I can cook meals for up to 30 people or so."

In 1987, Bordeaux started his own business, called "Roger's pies." On sunny days, passing motorists can see Bordeaux with a stack of sour cherry, peach and pecan pies in the parking lot across from Super 1. Bordeaux made 27 pies for the Christmas Bazaar in St. Ignatius, and said he also makes Christmas candy — peanut brittle and divinity — especially for the holidays.

Baking, Bordeaux said, gives him a social outlet he didn't have before.

"People know me and like my pies," Bordeaux said. "I used to be cranky. My whole world's turned around. I'm happier, now. I've seen the light."

Making friends with non-drinkers through his pie business helps Bordeaux combat his alcohol addiction.

"I got a lot of dear friends out there," he said. "I love them too."

But Bordeaux could get the same benefits from baking and selling any food. What is it about pie specifically that has kept Bordeaux captivated for 10 years?

"Cakes burn easier," Bordeaux explained. "Pies are so good. They're just sweeter. They look nicer. They don't take as much flour."

That last is important when Bordeaux doesn't have much money to spend on ingredients. Between selling the pies and income from various government entities, Bordeaux receives $623 a month.

One day, Bordeaux hopes to own a place of his own—beyond a roadside table.

"Hopefully, one of these days, I'll get my own establishment," he said.

Until then, Bordeaux uses his roadside stand to combat the problems of his past. Recently, a friend died from an overdose, reminding him of the people who weren't able to escape the ravages of addiction. He said he's had a lot of friends dying from complications. Their loss is rough, especially if he knew them well.

"I had to learn a hard lesson to be where I'm at today," he said. "But I'm here."