From the Bleachers: What example are you setting for your kid?

By Zach Urness

A few weeks ago at the District 8-B basketball tournament in Libby, a parent became upset with Arlee head coach Brandon Hobbs and, after the game, physically attacked him in front of fans, parents and players. By the time it was over, Hobbs had to be taken to the hospital and the parent had to be taken to jail.

When asked why he attacked the coach, Francis Pierre explained that Hobbs had “verbally abused” his son during the game by yelling at him.

It’s hard to know where to start, but two things jump out. First, all coaches yell at players. Asking a basketball coach not to yell at his players is like asking for sunshine and blue sky in February.

Secondly, isn’t it the definition of irony to get upset with someone for yelling and acting uncivilized, and then proceed to punch them in the face?

Sadly, as disturbing as this incident might seem, it’s certainly not unprecedented.

If you type the phrase “crazy wrestling dad” into Google, you’ll find video footage of a father charging into the middle of a youth wrestling match and literally launching his son’s 11-year old opponent off the mat last month. The enraged father explained later that he thought his son’s shoulder had been injured, and he was simply protecting him.

“It’s really difficult for some parents to watch their kids in a physical sport,” said Polson head wrestling Coach Bob Owen, who also runs the Little Guy wrestling program. “They get carried away sometimes and feel like they need to protect their children.”

Another incident of a father “protecting” his son occurred last fall. During video of a Pop Warner football game for 12-13 year olds, a father was caught running onto the field at the end of a play, chasing down a player who was flagged for a late-hit on his son, and ramming him to the ground.

It would seem that the “pick on somebody your own size” doctrine doesn’t apply to angry fathers.

Parents, by nature, are overprotective of their children. Whether it’s dressing them in a parka, knit hat and snowpants when it’s 45 degrees outside or warning them obsessively about talking to strangers, the need to protect one’s kids is an intense parental response. And given that, it’s not impossible to see how a genuine fear for a child’s safety could morph itself into a blind rage for those who might do them harm, regardless of the circumstances.

But the worst thing about these ugly situations is not the stupidity of the offending parent nor the physical harm inflicted. It’s the effect on the child. For young males the single greatest influence is almost always their father. And when the father acts like immature jackass who can’t control his temper, one of two things will usually happen. The child will A) Be horribly embarrassed or B) mistake those actions for the right way to deal with confrontation.

And if there’s one thing we don’t need, it’s another generation of fathers who think attacking coaches, refs, or opponents is ever acceptable.