Unresolved

A Little Off the Top

By Ethan Smith - Editor

Ahhh, the New Year. My favorite time of year, when I watch flawed people try to attain perfection.

The New Year is a time for rebirth and renewal, the perfect time for self improvement.

I used to believe in New Year's resolutions, but I always have a hard time sticking to them. Maybe it's because I don't really like the concept anyway.

I mean, let's face it, if you recognize a flaw in yourself, and you're really serious about correcting it, then why wait until Jan. 1 to start?

Now I know what many of you who don't know me are thinking — this must be one flawless guy.

You read the above statement and thought, 'Wow, this guy must be a reeeeaaallllll go-getter. He probably corrects his own flaws even before they happen! He's really on top of his game!'

Yeah, right.

Like many of you, I'm a flawed human being. I have things I don't like about myself that I would like to change. We all do.

My flaws include being too impatient at work, having a weight that fluctuates by about 10 pounds from summer to winter, not exercising enough in the colder months, eating out too much instead of saving more money, and not staying in touch with my family enough, to name a few.

Those are things I could have vowed to work on starting Jan. 1, but let's face it, they're year-round flaws. Usually by February, I'm back to my old flaw-filled self again.

I guess you can add "lack of persistence and dedication" to that list, too.

Even the things that were going well for me in 2007 seemed to backfire. Like the fact that I lost about 10 pounds over the summer, by sweating a lot of weight off behind the plate, umpiring, and running away from angry parents and coaches in the parking lot after the ball games.

That alone accounted for about three miles of hard workouts a week.

I was down to my fighting weight, 190 — about the weight of Paris Hilton's entire entourage.

But then I realized none of my jeans or pants fit me anymore. I looked like all those teenagers you see with the baggy pants hanging halfway down their rear, except I wasn't trying to look like a loser.

I was pleasantly surprised at the idea of having to go out and buy some more jeans and khakis. That's money I could justify spending, considering I only spend $20 a year on new clothes, as many of you can attest to.

This was a time to make a better appearance. A new me for the New Year!

"Don't get rid of the old jeans," a coworker told me.

She was right. They fit fine now, unfortunately.

So much for a better me.