Among other things
New Year’s driving test
During a reading and signing session for my Among Other Things book last month at the Ronan City Library, those attending had some fun with the tongue tangling piece on the Cherry Pit Spit Splat event.
I offered to give a free book to anyone who could read the piece aloud in 90 seconds or less with no repetition, no mispronunciation, or other mistakes. Best time was 113 seconds! It was a lot of fun.
The thought occurred to me that such a “contest” might be fun to try during a New Year’s Eve party. The accuracy of the reading could determine who could drive home safely or if they should have a designated driver!
See if you can read it aloud in 90 seconds or less.
Polson’s Cherry
Pit Spit Splat
In August 1985 “Polson‘s Cherry Pit Spit Splat” contest marked the close of a successful cherry harvest. The rules were tang-tongueling:
Within the Pit Spit Splat Spit Pit, competition pitted top spitters in several pit-spitting classes: Short, middle and long range pit spitting; trick pit spitting and the main event — a spot spit spitting spectacular specifically based on accuracy.
The event pitted top pit spitters of all other pit spit contests against one another in cherry pit spot-spitting. Target was a large cherry pit spot-spit spit pot in which to spot-spit spit pits.
The grand champion cherry pit spit splat pit spitter won a trophy, a 20-pound lug of cherries (unspit) and the spit pit spot-spit spittoon into which the spot-spit pits were spat.
Runners up received ribbons and were offered wheelbarrows in which to haul away the spot-spit pits.
In case of a tie, the winner would be selected by reciting the following in the fastest time with fewest mistakes.
How many cherry pits would Charley, the champion cherry pit spitter spit if Charley could spit pits? Twice as many if he’d split pits to spit and spit split pits. If he didn’t split pits to spit and spat unsplit pits, he’d spit only half the pits he’d have spat had he spit the unsplit pits.
Fortunately, there was no tie and no one strangled on a tonguled tang.
Happy New Year, everyone.