Decades of Love

John & Daphne Rudolph – Sept. 3, 1949 – 64 years

“If you respect each other’s opinion, you don’t fight. You listen.”

John and Daphne will celebrate their 65th wedding anniversary this fall, but it seems like it was just yesterday that the two met at a college party all those years ago.

Daphne was in her third year of college and had just moved to Vancouver, B.C. She was tagging along with a friend to a party and liked John immediately when she met him. It wasn’t long before the two students decided to make a life together.

John had been accepted to Stanford University to pursue a master’s degree and Daphne had a job lined up after graduation, but fate had other plans for the couple.

“He kissed me once and it all went out the window,” she said.

On Sept. 3, 1949, the 21-year-old bride and the 24-year-old groom exchanged vows. Always unique, Daphne insisted on wearing anything but white for the ceremony. She wore a pale blue dress her mother made her that she said she hated, though photos of the smiling bride in the arms of her groom could convince you that she had no cares in the world.

Shortly after, the two bought a 10-acre parcel of land and set about building their house and a two-stall stable. They moved in with Daphne’s horse and John’s Labrador retriever, but it wasn’t long until the couple filled the house with children, two boys and three girls. When their children were grown, the couple moved to Colorado where John had been offered a job and their daughter Pat had been offered a place in a program for developmentally disabled adults.

One Christmas, John and Daphne decided to take the family somewhere warm for the holidays. It was a last minute decision and the only reservations they could make were in the Grand Cayman Islands. Once there, the couple became enamored with the island, its culture and the people. They visited there often and bought a winter home on the beach, where they spent several months each year until the home was destroyed during Hurricane Ivan in 2004.

“It’s been an interesting life,” she said. “I’m a great believer that you can’t plan what your life is going to be,” Daphne said. “You just have to wait for little nudges here and there.”

The two couldn’t be more opposite. John, a geological engineer, always has his pencils lined up parallel on his desk. Daphne, a skilled botanical painter, is more right-brained. She said it is very strange, but the two complement each other in a sense by looking at things from a different perspective.

“It was simple on my part,” John said, adding he had to work hard to keep up with her.

Daphne said it used to be very clear what your behavior was supposed to be, so it wasn’t hard to stay married for as long as the Rudolphs have been. The two have never celebrated their anniversary and they don’t often buy each other presents.

“It seems to me that people that treat each other badly buy each other a lot of presents and continue to treat each other badly,” she said.

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Next week, Dapnhe will turn 86. John is 89. The two said there has never been a doubt about their love in all of the nearly 65 years of their marriage.

“There is a certain grace of living together that you shouldn’t forget,” Daphne said, stressing how important manners and respect are in a relationship.

As the couple has grown older together, John has gradually been showing symptoms of dementia. When they realized he needed more help, Daphne decided to move with him into St. Joseph Assisted Living Center in Polson.

Daphne said that while a person loses their memories, they don’t lose their sense of humor. She and John still laugh at the same things they always have. One can have a good life with someone who can’t remember the life you’ve had, she said.

Gary & Norma Granley – 47 years

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“We celebrate our marriage every day.”

Gary met the lovely Norma in geometry class, but the sparks didn’t fly until the two attended a dance together because a mutual friend was selling the tickets. Norma said they didn’t really know each other until then, but a few years later the two decided to take the plunge and tie the knot.

“It just kind of evolved into ‘let’s get married’,” she said.

Gary and Norma made the promise to love each other soon after. During the wedding ceremony, a friend watched the couple’s car to ensure that it wouldn’t get painted before their long road trip to Pennsylvania. But they weren’t spared from the traditional wedding pranks. When they got into the car, it wouldn’t move.

“It took us a few minutes to realize that the car was an inch off of the floor, they had jacked it up,” Norma recalled.

With 47 years of anniversaries under their belt, Norma said she doesn’t have a favorite memory of any specific year.

“We celebrate our marriage every day. I think we are very blessed,” she said.

Clint & Barb Larson – May 1, 1981 – 32 years

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“It was the best day of my life.”

Barb met Clint through family and what began as a close friendship slowly evolved into something more. She said when they married he had a two-year-old son and she had children of her own.

“He took on our family and he has been a wonderful dad to all of them,” she said. “I’m sure they all love him as much as I do.”

One day while the couple was walking past a jewelry store Clint said, “Let’s just go in and look.” She said they picked out a simple ring and wedding band, and though it wasn’t a large romantic gesture, she was still surprised.

“It was nothing exciting like putting [the ring] in a glass of champagne like they do nowadays, but I didn’t expect it,” Barb said.

The two became husband and wife on May Day in 1981 in Plains, Mont. The day remains just as special as it was for Barb and Clint three decades ago.

“It was the best day of my life,” she said.

The couple attended an Amway Convention in Polson for their honeymoon, a fact that the whole family laughs about now, but Barb said they had a lot of fun meeting other people involved with the organization.

Though the proposal wasn’t flashy, the surprise 50th birthday party Clint and the kids threw for Barb was. One of her favorite memories from the past 30 years, she said it was a blast and that her husband made sure to make the evening romantic for her.

The couple doesn’t have a secret for staying together. Clint and Barb said their relationship is a give and take, but most importantly the two respect and love each other very much. Through the good times and the bad, they have been there for one another and that is how they plan to stay.

“Everybody said it’d never last,” she said. “We showed them!”