A rabbit called Hardly

In my last column, I said I’d try to find that column about an imaginary conversation with a stray rabbit that for several weeks was often hanging around the front or back doors.

Unlike the 6-foot tall invisible rabbit that Jimmy Stewart called Harvey in the movie of the same name, this one was a little black colored critter only about six or eight inches high – and very visible. So I named him Hardly because of his small size

Then an early cold front came through the area and I hadn’t seen Hardly for almost a year. Well, Hardly came back. Looked like he thrived through the winter. No, not six feet tall like the invisible Harvey, but a pretty good size jack rabbit.

You know how people talk to their pet dogs, cats, horses, pigs, canaries, geckos, snakes, maybe even worms? They’ll ask the pets questions as if expecting answers. Well, I thought I’d talk to Hardly and see what he’d been up to all winter. The imaginary conversation went something like this:

“Good to see you again, Hardly. How’d you keep warm during the cold weather?”

“Oh, I’ve got a pretty good fur coat and I hunkered down in the brush and weeds in the field behind your place. Found a warm water spring there, too. Had to watch out for an occasional dog or coyote that wandered through. But I had no really close calls.”

“What did you eat? You look like you put on some weight.”

“Well, it wasn’t Mr. McGregor’s garden, but we rabbits are pretty adaptable. We can make do on grass, leaves, weeds – all good fiber, you know.”

“Any insurmountable problems?”

“Yeah, one major problem. It was awfully lonesome out there. As you know, we rabbits are quite creative.”

“I’ve noticed that.”

“Last week I saw another furry creature in the neighborhood. Really quite attractive – black with a white stripe, bushy tail. I sure wanted to get acquainted. But when I got close, it started smelling really bad – in fact, it downright stunk!”

“Hardly, what you encountered was a skunk; it sprayed that awful odor as a defensive measure.  Did you, perhaps, harass the skunk for two more days?”

“Yeah, I guess I did. How did you know?”

“It stunk up the whole neighborhood, Hardly. After three close encounters, what did you learn?”

“Two things: First, don’t wrestle with a skunk or you’ll end up smelling like one. Second, if criticism had the power to destroy, that skunk would be extinct.”

“I know. Well, the Easter bunny and many helpers were in town this spring; did you meet up with them?”

“I saw them, but I decided to keep my distance. They’ve got real problems – would you believe they were laying chicken eggs and chocolate candy eggs all over the place, and a whole herd of little kids were chasing them?  I was afraid I’d be trampled.”

“What are you going to do now?”

“I’m going to try to figure out how Harvey grew so tall and made himself invisible.”

“Good luck, Hardly: it’s been good talking to you. Be seeing you.”

“I hope not.”

Hardly must have found Harvey’s secret because I haven’t seen him for several years. But every spring there is the fragrance of skunk aroma in the area!