A Pilgrim’s Journey: Community says goodbye to beloved Polson pastor John Payne

A chorus of well-wishers gathered in a grassy courtyard at St. Joseph Medical Center recently to say so-long to hospital chaplain and local pastor John Payne, who has since moved to Whidbey Island, near Seattle.

“In the ER, things are traumatized, people die, and he’s there,” said hospital employee Selma Swank. “It makes it so much better, so much easier. No matter what the situation is – good, bad – just knowing he was there. Believe me I’ve gone to him and just cried.”

For Payne, the art of offering compassion to others is grounded in acceptance. “You have to be able to meet people where they are and not where you want them to be.”

According to his daughter, Haley Lee, it’s an art he’s been cultivating for as long as she can remember. “He’s always been good at being present, sort of grounding people and giving this simple yet profound wisdom – we call them ‘wisdom bombs.’”

John and his wife, Sharon, moved to Polson 24 years ago – “it’s the longest we’ve lived anywhere,” he said. He’s led the congregation at Journey Be, the former First Christian Church, for most of that time and has served as hospital chaplain for 17 years.

But the Paynes were regular visitors to Polson long before they moved here. Sharon’s father was the Rev. Loren Foot, a long-serving Episcopalian minister in Polson, and the family spent summers for more than three decades on Flathead Lake.

Foot, who became Payne’s mentor and role model, left his career as an air traffic controller to attend the Virginia Theological Seminary before taking his post in Polson. Likewise, Payne left a lucrative career with Honeywell Corporation that took the family to London, Ireland, Germany and Italy, to attend United Theological Seminary of the Twin Cities.

“It was a pretty drastic change and the drop in income was major,” he said. “But it worked out.”

According to Lee, the sudden career shift was precipitated by the deaths of two of his daughters’ close friends, which shook him “on a deep level.”

“It felt abrupt at the time – all of a sudden he was wearing Birkenstocks and getting rid of his ties,” she recalled. “But it’s really just who he is.”

In 1999, Sharon’s father had a major heart attack, and the couple returned to Polson thinking he was near death. Fortunately, he recovered and lived another eight years. Meanwhile, the First Christian Church needed a pastor.

“That’s a place I really needed to be,” Payne said. “I really came into my own as a chaplain and a pastor.”

The church has since morphed into Journey Be – reflective of Payne and his parishioners’ belief that life is a spiritual journey. In explaining the church’s name, he quotes author Mark Nepo: “To journey without being changed is to be a nomad. To change without journeying is to be a chameleon. To journey and to be transformed by the journey is to be a pilgrim.”

During the decade pre-COVID, Journey Be served 92,000 free meals, averaging 50 to 60 soup lunches daily prepared by a devoted core of parishioners. It was also the community’s first “open and affirming church – meaning we were open and affirming to all kinds of whatevers – mostly sexual orientation,” said Payne.

His faith is rooted in a deep acceptance of other humans. “For me, it’s when I’ve been able to say ‘I don’t care, you’re OK’ – white, black, yellow, red, Republican or Democrat. That’s hard to say sometimes. It doesn’t mean you don’t care about the person – it means you don’t care what their views are, their religion, whatever they’re involved in.”

For him, that approach is especially relevant when approaching suffering and loss, as he has over and over as both a hospital chaplain, and for 12 years as a hospice chaplain.

“Everybody’s different in their grief – some people grieve quickly, some people don’t. What I try to do is to help them see what a blessing that person was in their life,” he said. “Before a funeral, I try to get together with the family and make them tell funny stories and it sets this tone, so they leave the memorial with happy thoughts.”

“Laughter is the most sincere form of prayer,” he added. “Some people call it carbonated holiness.”

“For thousands of people, John has helped ease their way – spiritually, emotionally, as a friend instilling hope,” said Gary Weiserich, manager of spiritual care in Providence’s western Montana service area. The value of that service “is hard to put words to.”

During COVID, “things happened we never expected to happen,” he added. When families couldn’t physically comfort a loved one, and when healthcare workers were especially stressed, Weiserich said Payne’s kindness and compassion were crucial.

“He knows everyone here so intimately and helps them with those tough things, either at home or at work,” he said. “He’s been vulnerable with people and that’s the key to opening their hearts.”

His departure, he added, “is bittersweet. I’m going to miss him.”

The Paynes now reside near Haley and her husband, Brett, on Whidbey Island where Lee suspects her dad will continue to find opportunities to volunteer, to make a difference.

“I can’t see him stopping,” she said. “He’s just good at the hardest moments. When everyone else is freaking out, he’s always the most clear.”

For Payne, that’s the foundation of a meaningful life.

“A good life is not about being happy, but having made a difference, having left the place a little better,” he said. Judging by the warm hugs and chorus of comments he received at his going-away gathering, he’s accomplished that:

“Thanks for all the kind things you’ve done over the years. You will be missed.”

“My life has improved because of you.”

“You have been such a blessing for this community.”

“The soothing atmosphere you put on things – I just know it’s not going to be the same around here without you.”